WyCo WhyNot?

Here I sit in the dead of winter and square in the middle of the nursing school backhand bitch-slap known as our OB/Peds rotation. Entering this program I really had to temper my athletic aspirations(and respirations) due to the expected shit-load of classwork I expected that I'd be busy with. I was not incorrect in my assessment that I'd be overwhelmed by school, but I was altogether off-the-mark when I assumed I'd have no time to run. November was by far the most stressful month of the entire year for me, yet I still managed to log my highest running mileage in that same month(85 miles). Coincidence? Not remotely.

I've learned these last few months, that running isn't just something I like to do to blow off steam, or do because it makes me feel good. Put quite simply, I cannot live without it. In November, when I was on the brink of depression and going flat-out batty, running was my day-to-day saving grace. Did my life feel like it was spinning out of control? Hell yes. But I was able to rock-out 30+ miles in a single weekend and for some reason, it gave me a boost in whatever thing I was severely lacking that was causing all of my problems. Confidence? Motivation? Focus? A fucking break from reality? All of the above? I'll never know for sure, but it saved my ass and saw me through to the end of the semester.

December and January mileage stayed pretty high as well. And for good reason, as I am registered for my 2nd ultramarathon this weekend. Another 50k at WyCo. Every trail runner I know says that running at WyCo is harder than running anywhere else that isn't actually in the mountains. So why do I do my long races there? Because I'm an idiot.

No, I'm being serious. Let me explain...

My first 50k was the Psycho Psummer 50k last July at WyCo. I was completely unprepared in just about every way. I had never run trails before, much less the hardest trails that can be found in these parts. Check! I had not specifically trained for this distance or this race. Check! The race was 2 weeks after the biggest race of my life, Ironman Coeur d'Alene, and I was unaware that the average human needed more than 13 days to recover from 140.6 miles. Check!

Read the full report if you like: http://lowandtall.blogspot.com/2010/08/psycho-psummer-50k-exercise-in-humility.html

It was completely idiotic, but I finished. When I registered for this race, I optimistically clicked on the 50k option, with the full knowledge that I could always drop down to the 20 mile option if I wasn't "feelin' it" on raceday. Seems like a decent plan, right?

Except I know it won't go down that way. The way I see it, worst case scenario, I am exactly as unprepared for this race as I was last July. Best case scenario, I've got to be a little bit better off this time. At this point, I've got 250+ miles of trail experience under my belt(technically, under my Mizuno trail shoes). I can knock out 10-15 miles on any given day and not be completely debilitated physically. I am not in recovery mode from any previous athletic endeavor. The only thing that is similar to my previous 50k is that I have not trained for this distance, nor have I trained for this race. Sure, I've THOUGHT about this race a lot during my weekly runs, but my mileage is nowhere near what it should be for a race that hurts as much as a full marathon at the HALFWAY point.

With all this in mind, I have pretty much set my mind to finishing the full distance. Why? Because, as I mentioned earlier, I am an idiot.

I can already see what's going to happen. The 50k course consists of three 10 mile loops, and the bailout point would be after the 2nd lap. I'll roll into the main aid station in some amount of pain, likely a large amount. I'll nom on some snacks, and I'll ignore the question "Should I stop?" I know from previous experience that if I start the last lap, I'll finish it, even if it involves crawling. In snow.

Perhaps I'm being foolish, but perhaps this is what it's all about. Setting goals, even challenging ones, and stepping up to the plate despite any doubts you might have. A brief conversation with Sophie earlier tonight convinced me that instead of running the Free State trail marathon in April, perhaps I'd attempt my first 40 miler instead. Come on...it's only another 9 miles...what's the difference?

Depending on how this Saturday goes, I may write a race report, but I might not. It won't be my first ANYTHING, and you can never tell which races will be memorable and meaningful, and which races end up just being races. I'm hoping for memorable and meaningful!

"What one man can do, another can do."