Today I turned 29. I tried extremely hard not to do so, but in the end I was unable to prevent growing another year older. I did however, take time to reflect on the previous year of my life. I have decided that I have just experienced the single greatest year of my life(thus far). I have done so many amazing things and had so many great experiences, but more importantly, every goal I have set for myself has been met.
I have gotten straight A's 3 semesters in a row. I have gotten accepted to a nursing program. I discovered a motivation in myself that I never knew existed, and discovered what it means to have goals in life. I was never a good student, and I worried that it was a matter of aptitude, as opposed to a matter of applying myself fully. My worries were laid to rest fully when I realized that all I have ever been missing was the proper inspiration to succeed. My brother summed it up quite nicely when, upon hearing of my 4.0 last fall, he asked me, "Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?" Charming, right? Being able to witness such a drastic change in myself over such a short period of time has been nothing short of mind-blowing.
I set a half marathon PR in April, discovered triathlons, completed a half distance ironman and a marathon(meeting my target times for both), committed myself to doing a full ironman next summer and met my fundraising goal for this year's MS Ride. To make all of these things possible, in February I began training regularly, and keeping track of my mileage. Since February I have run about 370 miles, on pace to surpass 500 for the year. I have cycled almost 900 miles, on pace to pass 1000 for the year. I have also swam almost 25 miles. Indeed, I am older than I've ever been, and yet I'm in the best shape of my life physically and mentally.
I have maintained most of my close friendships, and even begun cultivating friendships with some new amazing people. I have gone out of my way to be there for the people who needed help, and reached out to those same people when I myself needed help(more on this later). This year I continued and expanded upon an idea I began last year, the reverse birthday. Instead of expecting my friends to make my birthday fun for me and shower me with attention and gifts, I decided to switch it up. I gave presents to the friends who have meant the most to me and been the biggest parts of my life over the past year. This was so utterly satisfying to me, I'm pretty sure I'm going to continue to do this for the rest of my life.
In general, I am happier than I've ever been, and I'm living my life the way I feel like I should be living it. I try to enjoy every experience for what it is, rather than focusing on the negative aspects, even down to the tiniest details of human existence.
I have traveled more in the last year than I have recently, visiting two of the greatest cities in this country. In March I traveled to New York City for the first time, spending a week there and gaining an amazing perspective during my stay. In July I traveled to San Francisco to complete my first marathon and spent a week with my brother. Additionally, in May I spent a long weekend in Boulder, Colorado where I cycled, ran a 10k, and even went climbing(though we got rained off of a Flatiron and nearly got struck by lightning).
In general, I don't do regrets very often. I usually feel like every choice I have made in the past, for better or worse, has made me the person I am now, and I like who I am now. On the other hand, something very "great" happened to me this year. Before I say what it was, I'm going to clarify that I use the word "great" to mean something large, life-changing, and incredibly impactful, but not necessarily "good". This great thing that happened to be was incredibly bad, but it is one of those experiences that is a quintessential part of being human and every single person has to deal with it at some point. I experienced true and utter heartbreak for the first time in my life. First of all, I am lucky in that it took this long for it to happen, as many people experience heartbreak much earlier in their lives. Regardless, my first true heartbreak happened this year when I let the woman of my dreams, who I had foolishly been keeping at arms length for some time, slip away. I selfishly kept waiting for the so called "right time", for my life's circumstances to be such that letting her back in would be convenient to me. I believed that she would just be there when I was ready, yet in the back of my mind I feared what might happen if I waited too long. Needless to say, I found out and it was the single most devastating thing I have yet to experience, watching the girl I wanted to marry give up on me and move on with her life.
Maybe someday, with enough time and perspective, I will no longer regret that this happened. Maybe it will lead me to find happiness elsewhere, or at the very least I hope that I end up learning something from this whole mess. Either way, I cannot leave this off of my list of "great" things that have happened to me this year.
Without a doubt, this year surpassed expectations on so many levels. I finally found purpose and direction in life, I whipped my ass into shape and found a love of fitness that I'm not sure I could lose even if I wanted to, I kept my friends close, and got a clear vision of what the rest of my life may have in store for me, career-wise and personally. Now all I have to do is try and make next year even better. It'll be tough, but I believe it can be done.
If you're reading this, you can rest assured that you are an important part of my life and that I am thankful to be friends with you or related to you, as the case may be. There is also an outside chance that you stumbled across my blog completely randomly and you have no idea who I am. In that case, thanks for reading, and I hope you gained something from reading this rambling mess, be it entertainment or insight.
But anyways, to those this was intended for, thank you so much for everything you are and everything you do. All of the amazing things that have happened this year, you made them possible and I am incredibly grateful to have you around to share in my triumphs(as well as my sorrows).
Also: I grew a moustache this year. Cool, huh?
2 comments:
Hear, hear.
Danny, you're the bomb! So glad to hear how you've reflected on the last year. Sorry about the bad parts, but it is clear you have come out on the other side an even better person.
Oh, and happy belated bday :)
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