That moment when...

...when you realize you just had a great idea. Or a handful of great ideas. Life changing things, or maybe just really thoughtful or inspired things.

Whatever it is you have/had...it's slipping away.

That is me. That is now. Must. Type. Faster.

Whatever I was just dreaming about was It. And It was a mess of inspiration, of Change The World, of Why Not Me?

In part of my dream, I was planning a huge expedition. Alaska was the destination, but at some point there was some kind of complication. Getting there wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. No problem I dream-thought to myself, I'll just get there the hard way. It was pointed out to me that the "hard way" involved things that were beyond my means and capabilities. Hiking across multiple states, through unyielding terrain, and catching a train from somewhere that would take me the rest of the way to my final destination to do whatever it is I was going to do there. Fair enough, Dream Me thought. I settled for doing something meaningful and wonderful more locally and it ended up being just as awesome as I needed. I suppose there are lessons to be learned from both approaches.

Weird dream. At some point I woke up from "dreaming" in the strictest sense, but was still caught in that "you're awake, but still half asleep" state where you're wrestling with consciousness, trying to avoid waking up, trying to recapture the dream and pick up where you left off. All I could really do was maintain my state of limbo between the two, but it was oddly liberating. I was asleep enough to have freedom of thought normally restricted by my conscious mind, but conscious enough to be able to add a small dose of rationality to the conversations going on in my head. And I remember those conversations MUCH better than the vague-assed dream I just attempted to describe. For now at least. (Must. Type. Faster)

I'm coming to a point. Or several points.

In my dream, the presence of Alaska as a theme was clearly inspired by a friend of mine who is currently on an expedition to climb Mt. Denali. He is simultaneously attempting to raise a whole boatload of money for a cause that nobody has ever heard of. I'll link to it once I'm done writing, just want to get the thoughts out of my head.

That got me thinking about charity. I've been a fundraising guy for 6 years now. All my friends are painfully aware of it, but once a year I pound down everyone's door in support of a cause I believe in. In the past few years, more of my friends have become fundraising people, meaning that more of the people who were tossing money my way once a year have found causes that they themselves believe in enough to do something about it.

I wondered if the revolution of social networking would someday lead to charity itself going viral. A time where everyone had a cause they were pimping out, trying to make their own little difference in the world. Part of me thought this would be a bad thing, because nobody would be left to donate to other causes because they were too busy trying to promote their own. Then I convinced myself that it HAD to be a good thing. I think of the amount of people I know. How few of them do anything like this. How much MORE room there is for charity in the world. If charity itself went viral, and everybody had a cause they gave time and effort to, that'd be a better world, right? I imagined increasingly creative attempts to showcase one's cause in an increasingly competitive fundraising market. And when people start using their brains creatively, good things happen. And speaking of creative minds and good things happening...

I then started thinking about zefrank and what he has done with a camera and some ideas. Possibly the only video blogger I can stand to watch. I don't know how he does it, but his ideas are brilliant, and he presents them so interestingly. I wondered if I could do the same. I think my own ideas are pretty brilliant sometimes, and occasionally I'll write them down and publish them here. Or I'll tell them to a friend. In my half-awake state, I imagined myself being wildly successful at it and getting to someday collaborate with zefrank himself. To me, he's kind of a nerd celebrity. An everyman's kind of guru. He's just a guy with some thoughtful things to say, a camera, and a knack for editing. Why Not Me?

I felt something on my arm. In my groggy state I immediately convinced myself it was a spider and I leaped out of bed, turned on the light, and prepared to destroy the awful thing. No spider. Just an empty bed. I went to the kitchen, got a glass of water, and then sat down at the computer to start recording my thoughts before they disappeared forever. Now that I'm awake and thinking about it with the full weight of consciousness, I am 100% convinced that I'd be terrible on camera and that nobody would enjoy watching me in video blog format.I guess this is what ze is talking about when he talks about "the everything thing". He would then recommend an FILDI(Fuck it, let's do it). I seriously recommend following this guy. Might change your life...or at least give you fucked up dreams.

The excited and inspired feeling I had when I first started typing is gone. I don't know if I got it all down, but I'm out of thoughts now. Kinda like this.