Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A List of Horribly Cliche Things To Post On Facebook...

1. Gratuitous close-up of your new engagement ring. Honestly, it's more personable to physically rub it in the faces of your friends than to do it over the internet.
2. Ultrasound of your new human parasite as your profile picture. This goes hand-in-hand with the "progressively growing pregnant belly" album. You can just TELL people you're pregnant, and if they're interested in seeing more, there's always Google Image Search.
3. Inviting me to an event when I live in another city. I'm probably not going to come. I'll be the first to admit I've done this. That doesn't mean it's not cliche.
4. Thinking that changing your profile picture to to something clever in order to "raise awareness" is anything more than a cleverness contest which you chose to participate in. Way to go...you picked a more obscure cartoon from your childhood than most of your friends. Children are still getting beat the hell up. Thanks for your help.
5. Posting a status mourning the death of a celebrity you knew nothing about, just as long as you were the first to do so. Also hand-in-hand with mourning the death of a celebrity you knew nothing about, yet you feel you SHOULD have known something about(J.D. Salinger anyone?).
6. Passive aggressive political posts that you KNOW your progressive/conservative friends will see in attempt to start a political flamewar. Yes, and the debate sparked by this noble gesture will most certainly result in mature and productive dialogue from all parties.
7. Responding to a passive aggressive political post that your progressive/conservative friend posted. It's called a troll. It eventually goes away and dies if you ignore it(or god forbid, you un-friend this person you once had a class with).
8. Foursquare. I don't even know what to say. I really couldn't give a rat's ass that you're the mayor of your laundromat. I block this crap for a reason.
9. You went to a party. You posted every god-damn picture from said party. Why did you do that? Photography used to be an art form. You also suck at painting, but you don't do that incessantly.
10. Commenting on television shows as you watch them. I don't see what purpose this serves other than to proclaim, "I'm currently watching Real World: Duluth" Anybody who cares about this show is either already watching it, or planning to watch it...in which case, "Thanks for the spoiler, asshole."

That's all for now...

2 comments:

chae said...

Damn, I am guilty of the fetal picture!

sophianchor said...

guilty of #1. And I think I rubbed it in several faces. Love the blog!