That moment when...

...when you realize you just had a great idea. Or a handful of great ideas. Life changing things, or maybe just really thoughtful or inspired things.

Whatever it is you have/had...it's slipping away.

That is me. That is now. Must. Type. Faster.

Whatever I was just dreaming about was It. And It was a mess of inspiration, of Change The World, of Why Not Me?

In part of my dream, I was planning a huge expedition. Alaska was the destination, but at some point there was some kind of complication. Getting there wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. No problem I dream-thought to myself, I'll just get there the hard way. It was pointed out to me that the "hard way" involved things that were beyond my means and capabilities. Hiking across multiple states, through unyielding terrain, and catching a train from somewhere that would take me the rest of the way to my final destination to do whatever it is I was going to do there. Fair enough, Dream Me thought. I settled for doing something meaningful and wonderful more locally and it ended up being just as awesome as I needed. I suppose there are lessons to be learned from both approaches.

Weird dream. At some point I woke up from "dreaming" in the strictest sense, but was still caught in that "you're awake, but still half asleep" state where you're wrestling with consciousness, trying to avoid waking up, trying to recapture the dream and pick up where you left off. All I could really do was maintain my state of limbo between the two, but it was oddly liberating. I was asleep enough to have freedom of thought normally restricted by my conscious mind, but conscious enough to be able to add a small dose of rationality to the conversations going on in my head. And I remember those conversations MUCH better than the vague-assed dream I just attempted to describe. For now at least. (Must. Type. Faster)

I'm coming to a point. Or several points.

In my dream, the presence of Alaska as a theme was clearly inspired by a friend of mine who is currently on an expedition to climb Mt. Denali. He is simultaneously attempting to raise a whole boatload of money for a cause that nobody has ever heard of. I'll link to it once I'm done writing, just want to get the thoughts out of my head.

That got me thinking about charity. I've been a fundraising guy for 6 years now. All my friends are painfully aware of it, but once a year I pound down everyone's door in support of a cause I believe in. In the past few years, more of my friends have become fundraising people, meaning that more of the people who were tossing money my way once a year have found causes that they themselves believe in enough to do something about it.

I wondered if the revolution of social networking would someday lead to charity itself going viral. A time where everyone had a cause they were pimping out, trying to make their own little difference in the world. Part of me thought this would be a bad thing, because nobody would be left to donate to other causes because they were too busy trying to promote their own. Then I convinced myself that it HAD to be a good thing. I think of the amount of people I know. How few of them do anything like this. How much MORE room there is for charity in the world. If charity itself went viral, and everybody had a cause they gave time and effort to, that'd be a better world, right? I imagined increasingly creative attempts to showcase one's cause in an increasingly competitive fundraising market. And when people start using their brains creatively, good things happen. And speaking of creative minds and good things happening...

I then started thinking about zefrank and what he has done with a camera and some ideas. Possibly the only video blogger I can stand to watch. I don't know how he does it, but his ideas are brilliant, and he presents them so interestingly. I wondered if I could do the same. I think my own ideas are pretty brilliant sometimes, and occasionally I'll write them down and publish them here. Or I'll tell them to a friend. In my half-awake state, I imagined myself being wildly successful at it and getting to someday collaborate with zefrank himself. To me, he's kind of a nerd celebrity. An everyman's kind of guru. He's just a guy with some thoughtful things to say, a camera, and a knack for editing. Why Not Me?

I felt something on my arm. In my groggy state I immediately convinced myself it was a spider and I leaped out of bed, turned on the light, and prepared to destroy the awful thing. No spider. Just an empty bed. I went to the kitchen, got a glass of water, and then sat down at the computer to start recording my thoughts before they disappeared forever. Now that I'm awake and thinking about it with the full weight of consciousness, I am 100% convinced that I'd be terrible on camera and that nobody would enjoy watching me in video blog format.I guess this is what ze is talking about when he talks about "the everything thing". He would then recommend an FILDI(Fuck it, let's do it). I seriously recommend following this guy. Might change your life...or at least give you fucked up dreams.

The excited and inspired feeling I had when I first started typing is gone. I don't know if I got it all down, but I'm out of thoughts now. Kinda like this.

Forsooth! A blog entry...

Gonna get right into this one...

You know how sometimes you can turn off your alarm clock without actually regaining consciousness? It's almost like your body knows it needs more sleep, recognizes the threat to its survival in the form of the incessant, horrible beeping, and then goes into override. Your brain knows things like "I need to make it to work on time" or "I want to have a productive morning". But all the body knows is "Uh uh...more sleep." My alarm clock is across the room, and disengaging it requires getting up and out of bed and finding that particular switch(not the easily mashable snooze, mind you) on the side of the clock that completely turns it off. Forever. Doing this while not interrupting my slumber is rather impressive, despite the fact that it leaves me with that horrible gut feeling the moment I wake up and realize I am WAY too well rested for this to be appropriate. Shit, time to call somebody and apologize/feel guilty for wasting a beautiful day asleep like a chump.

The point is, the body can do some interesting things without waking you up.

But that's not what I came to talk about.

I recently obtained dental insurance and got fitted for a nightguard(I grind my teeth at night). It wasn't entirely cheap, but it's something I probably should have been wearing since the FIRST time a dentist told me I needed one(10 years ago?). Anyways, to no surprise I was warned that it would take awhile to get used to.

Well last night I took it out for its inaugural sleep. Yes...rather uncomfortable at first. Drool production seems to quadruple any time I am wearing it, but I eventually get settled and fall asleep, mostly with the help of my 12 hour shift exhaustion. I woke up partway through my intended duration of sleep to realize a few things.

Not only was I no longer wearing my nightguard, BUT it was back in its case, which was now closed. I had no recollection of taking it out at any point...much less of carefully placing it back in its case and shutting it. I could undestand if the nightguard was simply out of my mouth and lying in a puddle of drool on the bed wherever it had fallen or been spit out. Seeing as how I was still a little groggy and fully intended to fall immediately back to sleep, I overlooked this peculiarity and placed the nightguard back in my mouth. Lights out, once again.

My alarm clock went off. It did wake me and as I got up to turn it off...guess what? No nightguard.

Where? Yep...back in its case.

How?

Well...apparently my body knows just a few things and doesn't need to consult my brain when questions over such things arise. Things like: "No, we are not fully rested...MOAR SLEEP!" and apparently "This thing is jeopardizing our airway and DOES NOT BELONG IN OUR FACE! Begone with you...but Mr. Brain up there paid good money for it...better put it back in the case."  

As least my body is considerate.

New Year's Round Up

So here we are, December 31st, the final day of 2011. A wise man does not dwell on the past, but occasional reflection seems both wise and enlightening. I'm going to take a few paragraphs to recap my year for my own benefit. If you enjoy reading about it, even better.

What have I been up to for the past 364 days? Well, I'll tell you.

I spent a good chunk of it becoming a nurse. I graduated from my BSN program in August, took NCLEX on October 5th, and then on October 6th I found out that I had passed AND I got a job offer. I began working in November, and I currently work the night shift in the Medical ICU at St. Luke's in Kansas City. What's more, I couldn't be happier about where I am.

As an athlete, my longest run to date consisted of the 40 miler at the Free State Trail Runs.  As far as mileage, in 2011 I ran 604 miles, biked 951 miles, and swam 19 miles. I also experienced my first "bad race" that was so demoralizing that I needed over a month to recuperate, both physically and motivationally. Additionally, another 50k, a half marathon with my dad, my 3rd half ironman, my first trail half marathon, and a slew of smaller trail races.

Far more gratifying than my own accomplishments, however, was seeing many of my friends either achieve great things or set themselves on the path to do so by becoming active. This year's first-time Ironman finishers include Dustin J, Jeff S, and Carin C. A few good friends did their first marathons, like Indi M, Katie L, and my brother Chris L(also his first half Ironman). Several people have completed first half-marathons like Rachel P, Jamie T, and my father David L. Others have completed their first triathlons like Megan M and Ellie M. Others still have taken those first important steps out their front doors and decided to become active individuals, like Brian and Stephanie S, Christina M who is currently crushing her Couch-To-5k program, and my other brother Mike L, who not only quit smoking, but took up cycling. To these people and countless others, I send a hearty congratulations and wishes for more of the same in 2012. Kill the Bear, one and all!

All in all, 2011 was a tough year in many ways, mostly due to school. However, it did seem that all the hardship, doubt, and effort was pointing me in a direction I wanted to go, and now that I appear to have arrived at that destination, I know it was all worth it. I have a job that I love. I have a family that is prospering. I love a girl who thinks I'm worth a damn. I have a body that continues to function well enough that I can continue to challenge my physical and mental limits. Finally, I have a plan for the future, and enough excitement about that plan that I can hardly believe how lucky I am.

I  see myself becoming the happy, mature adult that I never dreamed I'd be. I have amazing friends who support me and inspire me. I am becoming less cynical about the world in some ways, but I worry a lot about the world as well. I try not to let it bother me, especially because most of those things are well out of my control. Mostly, I am once again astounded and thrilled that this year was better than the year before it. I wonder in the back of my mind when things will stop getting better, because what goes up invariably must go down, though I am too busy enjoying life to dwell on that notion.

For the past two years, I've written scathing rebukes of the notion of New Year's resolutions, and this year I have not changed my position. It's hard to say more without becoming a broken record, but I can only wish that people didn't assign self-improvement to ONE day of the calendar year. People are filled with this refreshing sense that everything resets on January 1st and that they can start anew once more. Little do they realize that the Reset button is always right in front of their nose, they just refuse to believe they can press it whenever they want. Earlier this year, some time in April I think, I decided to become a regular flosser. I succeeded for several months before I fell back out of the routine. Did I fail? I suppose it depends on whether or not I intend to try again. If I give up forever, then I have indeed failed. However, that is not my intention, and plaque still trembles in fear when I remember to reach for that floss before bed.

January 1st is the day after December 31st, and both days are equally opportune for making yourself a better person. And all the days in between. 

Be good to yourselves and realize that there is an entire world of possibility beyond your perceived limitations, and if you look past them, you will see it. 

Make today better than yesterday, every day.


Danny

Lessons in Bar Etiquette: #249...The Bartender's Name

Hi! Are you a bar customer on a busy night? Do you need a drink? Let's run through some scenarios involving knowledge of the bartender's name to demonstrate some key principles of bar etiquette. Come along and bring your mind's eye for this magical journey!

Situation: You do not know my name and would like a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. You may not realize it, but in the 2 seconds it took me to glance up, I did see you and I now know you want a drink. I will get to you.

Situation: You want to know my name(for whatever reason)
Appropriate action: When I get around to serving you, you may politely ask my name along with providing your drink order. I will likely make an on-the-spot judgement of you to determine whether or not you're a "yeller". If you seem on the level, I will tell you my name. If not, you'll get a fake name. Something that I can easily ignore. No offense, of course, but I'll still know you want a drink, and it won't make any difference to you.

Situation: You know my name.
Appropriate action: Use my name in situations like "Thanks for the drink, Danny!", or "Nice to meet you, Danny!" or "Congratulations on whatever thing you recently accomplished, Danny!" etc....

Keep in mind that I did not include the phrase "Danny, I would like a drink." Which leads us to...

Situation: You know my name and you want a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. As before, it won't take me long to see you waiting. Do not yell my name. Since I am already aware you want a drink, this serves only to demonstrate to me that you think you shouldn't have to wait your turn. This also makes me less inclined to want to serve you and may lead to a longer than normal wait for your drink.

Situation: Somebody asks you "What is the bartender's name?"
Appropriate action: Regardless of whether you know my name or not, you should simply say "I don't know." The reason for this is because the question "What is the bartender's name?" is almost without fail followed by "HEY DANNY! CAN I GET A BLAH BLAH BLAH AND COKE?" These people are referred to as "yellers". They are lumped in with the glass-tappers, the money/hand wavers, the bar pounders, and the whistlers. Of this group of very special people, the yellers are perhaps the most annoying, and usually get to wait the longest for service because of their brilliant contribution to my bar atmosphere.

Situation: You are my friend, you know my name, and you want a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. If you think you're my friend and are under the impression that yelling my name to get a drink faster is appropriate, you're probably not actually my friend. You're at best an acquaintance, and more than likely a random person who just asked the person next to you what my name is. You're also a "yeller". The difference between you and an actual friend of mine is that anybody who is actually friends with me knows not to yell to get my attention. And they probably tip better than you as well. And you wonder why they always seem to get served before you.

For Leslie...

Ok, cease the activities you're currently engaged in, because I am about to spoil what you are used to hearing and seeing from those of my type. I don't look normal, but I still draw salary and I pray that audiences at large are prepared for me. Come closer, I have come to replace the former idiot in your metropolitan area, and I am musically accompanied by Digital Underground. You should consider all of your Hennessy effectively forfeit, and now I will proceed with an introduction. My name is Humpty. Make sure you enunciate it correctly with the proper "umpty" sound. My message to females is that I like to engage in intercourse with you. To other Top 10 hip-hop artists, I would suggest you step aside. Similar to Humpty Dumpty of nursery rhymes, I expect that you will not literally, but figuratively fall, or become embarrassed when you hear my songs on the radio. I like to rhyme words, I like good beats, I'm uniquely sassy, and I don't like runny oatmeal. I'm getting tired of rap that references gang activity, so I occasionally act silly. I'll consume whatever snack items you have lying around including, but not limited to licorice and crackers. Excuse me, portly woman...come here I want to see how you react if I gently stroke you with a feather. Yes, I did just use the word portly...if you'll notice, I am thin, but a disparity in body types has never been a barrier to my willingness to engage in coitus with a person. I'm a bizarre individual, I prefer women who have "the boom", indeed one time I had sex in the restroom at a Burger King. I'm mentally unstable, give me a chance to impress you. Some claim that I am unattractive, but I remain unaffected. I still copulate with many women, and there is even a dance that bears my name.

And that's just one damn verse....

How to change your life

Slowly...one step at a time.

I have written a lot about setting goals, working towards them, and achieving them, but all those goals were athletically oriented. You can read about all that crap over HERE at my racing blog, starting with my inaugural post and mission statement.

But what about all the REST of the stuff I'm trying to accomplish in life? Not everything requires sweat and hours of grueling exercise. Well, I set a goal to become a nurse and I'm less than 100 days from fulfilling that goal. Some titles I can currently apply to myself include, but are not limited to the following: Ironman, marathoner, ultramarathoner, soon-to-be Registered Nurse and Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Ok...what about smaller stuff?

How about this one.....flosser?

Uh.....shit. I admit that I have never successfully been able to pick up the habit of regular flossing...not for more than a month at least. I try to be living proof of the benefits of taking care of one's body, but I can't even take care of my teeth! Granted, I've been incredibly lucky. I've had only one cavity, despite the fact that I've probably flossed less than 50 times in my entire life. I've also had multiple 3-4 year stretches between seeing dentists. I'm not counting on that luck to continue indefinitely though. Just last week I finally understood why people hate dentists. I had my 6 month cleaning and when the lady went to start looking for stuff to scrape, she found some....a LOT of it. AND IT HURT!

So once again I've decided that it's high time I became a flosser.


"It's as hard to quit smoking as it is to start flossing." - Mitch Hedburg

It seems extreme, but there may be some truth to it. Putting aside physiological dependence, quitting a habit is the same as picking up a habit...they are both lifestyle changes that require the same commitments from an individual. A person must first solidify in their mind that they are ready to make a change. My past failures at the flossing habit have been defeated early by a lackadaisical attitude of "Gee, I should floss more." Next, a person must form a realistic plan of action. I never once came close to this step. Next, you have to actually follow through with this plan and hold yourself accountable. I read somewhere about a study that determined the average person needed to repeat an activity 60+ days in a row before it would become a daily habit. Once a habit is formed, then you have succeeded.

I have decided that flossing every day is unrealistic for me. The dental hygienist mentioned to me that plaque starts to harden after 48 hours, so I have decided that if I can floss every other day, I will be happy...and definitely better off than flossing NO days. I have resolved to make Monday, Wednesday, and Friday my flossing days. I am proud to report that Week 1 of Project: Danny Becomes a Flosser plan has been a resounding success. I have committed myself to achieving this goal, so now before I go to bed there is no debating about whether or not I can skip it or put it off until tomorrow. If it's MWF, I'm f*cking flossing. End of story.

Literally...that's the end of the story. Wish me luck!

The Cruel Cycle of Grocery-Having...

Stage 1: Have groceries

You have just gotten home from the grocery store and you put everything away. You feel so proud that you have done the responsible thing instead of putting it off and ordering a pizza out of laziness. You are also probably tired from this whole "modern day hunter/gatherer" ordeal, so you're not quite ready to choose a meal to cook and prepare it. In fact, there are so many god-damned options, you are having trouble even deciding what you want to eat. So you put it off. Cooking takes so much time...GOSH!

You eat a banana before bed.

Stage 2: Grocery supply begins to dwindle.

All of the really good meals have been cooked and eaten. The healthy stuff is still ok to eat, but it's now or never. The problem is that you aren't necessarily craving any of the things you still have left...DEFINITELY not the healthy stuff. And going to the grocery store is absolutely NOT an option, because there's still food in the house.

You eat the last box of Mac and Cheese.

Stage 3: Groceries are gone

There are no more complete meals left. The once-fresh veggies are shriveled and you are too ashamed to throw them away just yet. You're damn sure not going to eat them though. All you have left is half a serving of plain pasta(no sauce), a can of tuna(no bread), some tortillas(no cheese, chicken, salsa, or anything that would be put on a tortilla), and an egg of dubious age. You are completely disheartened and disenfranchised with groceries, so you're not going to the store...besides...it's 9 pm and you haven't eaten dinner yet.

You eat the plain tortillas....and furthermore for the next week or two, you order pizza, fast food, or let your 'opportunivore' instincts from your college days kick in. You will eat anything. After enough time, you somehow muster the strength and courage to visit the grocery store again.

Repeat.