So here we are, December 31st, the final day of 2011. A wise man does not dwell on the past, but occasional reflection seems both wise and enlightening. I'm going to take a few paragraphs to recap my year for my own benefit. If you enjoy reading about it, even better.
What have I been up to for the past 364 days? Well, I'll tell you.
I spent a good chunk of it becoming a nurse. I graduated from my BSN program in August, took NCLEX on October 5th, and then on October 6th I found out that I had passed AND I got a job offer. I began working in November, and I currently work the night shift in the Medical ICU at St. Luke's in Kansas City. What's more, I couldn't be happier about where I am.
As an athlete, my longest run to date consisted of the 40 miler at the Free State Trail Runs. As far as mileage, in 2011 I ran 604 miles, biked 951 miles, and swam 19 miles. I also experienced my first "bad race" that was so demoralizing that I needed over a month to recuperate, both physically and motivationally. Additionally, another 50k, a half marathon with my dad, my 3rd half ironman, my first trail half marathon, and a slew of smaller trail races.
Far more gratifying than my own accomplishments, however, was seeing many of my friends either achieve great things or set themselves on the path to do so by becoming active. This year's first-time Ironman finishers include Dustin J, Jeff S, and Carin C. A few good friends did their first marathons, like Indi M, Katie L, and my brother Chris L(also his first half Ironman). Several people have completed first half-marathons like Rachel P, Jamie T, and my father David L. Others have completed their first triathlons like Megan M and Ellie M. Others still have taken those first important steps out their front doors and decided to become active individuals, like Brian and Stephanie S, Christina M who is currently crushing her Couch-To-5k program, and my other brother Mike L, who not only quit smoking, but took up cycling. To these people and countless others, I send a hearty congratulations and wishes for more of the same in 2012. Kill the Bear, one and all!
All in all, 2011 was a tough year in many ways, mostly due to school. However, it did seem that all the hardship, doubt, and effort was pointing me in a direction I wanted to go, and now that I appear to have arrived at that destination, I know it was all worth it. I have a job that I love. I have a family that is prospering. I love a girl who thinks I'm worth a damn. I have a body that continues to function well enough that I can continue to challenge my physical and mental limits. Finally, I have a plan for the future, and enough excitement about that plan that I can hardly believe how lucky I am.
I see myself becoming the happy, mature adult that I never dreamed I'd be. I have amazing friends who support me and inspire me. I am becoming less cynical about the world in some ways, but I worry a lot about the world as well. I try not to let it bother me, especially because most of those things are well out of my control. Mostly, I am once again astounded and thrilled that this year was better than the year before it. I wonder in the back of my mind when things will stop getting better, because what goes up invariably must go down, though I am too busy enjoying life to dwell on that notion.
For the past two years, I've written scathing rebukes of the notion of New Year's resolutions, and this year I have not changed my position. It's hard to say more without becoming a broken record, but I can only wish that people didn't assign self-improvement to ONE day of the calendar year. People are filled with this refreshing sense that everything resets on January 1st and that they can start anew once more. Little do they realize that the Reset button is always right in front of their nose, they just refuse to believe they can press it whenever they want. Earlier this year, some time in April I think, I decided to become a regular flosser. I succeeded for several months before I fell back out of the routine. Did I fail? I suppose it depends on whether or not I intend to try again. If I give up forever, then I have indeed failed. However, that is not my intention, and plaque still trembles in fear when I remember to reach for that floss before bed.
January 1st is the day after December 31st, and both days are equally opportune for making yourself a better person. And all the days in between.
Be good to yourselves and realize that there is an entire world of possibility beyond your perceived limitations, and if you look past them, you will see it.
Make today better than yesterday, every day.
Danny
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Lessons in Bar Etiquette: #249...The Bartender's Name
Hi! Are you a bar customer on a busy night? Do you need a drink? Let's run through some scenarios involving knowledge of the bartender's name to demonstrate some key principles of bar etiquette. Come along and bring your mind's eye for this magical journey!
Situation: You do not know my name and would like a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. You may not realize it, but in the 2 seconds it took me to glance up, I did see you and I now know you want a drink. I will get to you.
Situation: You want to know my name(for whatever reason)
Appropriate action: When I get around to serving you, you may politely ask my name along with providing your drink order. I will likely make an on-the-spot judgement of you to determine whether or not you're a "yeller". If you seem on the level, I will tell you my name. If not, you'll get a fake name. Something that I can easily ignore. No offense, of course, but I'll still know you want a drink, and it won't make any difference to you.
Situation: You know my name.
Appropriate action: Use my name in situations like "Thanks for the drink, Danny!", or "Nice to meet you, Danny!" or "Congratulations on whatever thing you recently accomplished, Danny!" etc....
Keep in mind that I did not include the phrase "Danny, I would like a drink." Which leads us to...
Situation: You know my name and you want a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. As before, it won't take me long to see you waiting. Do not yell my name. Since I am already aware you want a drink, this serves only to demonstrate to me that you think you shouldn't have to wait your turn. This also makes me less inclined to want to serve you and may lead to a longer than normal wait for your drink.
Situation: Somebody asks you "What is the bartender's name?"
Appropriate action: Regardless of whether you know my name or not, you should simply say "I don't know." The reason for this is because the question "What is the bartender's name?" is almost without fail followed by "HEY DANNY! CAN I GET A BLAH BLAH BLAH AND COKE?" These people are referred to as "yellers". They are lumped in with the glass-tappers, the money/hand wavers, the bar pounders, and the whistlers. Of this group of very special people, the yellers are perhaps the most annoying, and usually get to wait the longest for service because of their brilliant contribution to my bar atmosphere.
Situation: You are my friend, you know my name, and you want a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. If you think you're my friend and are under the impression that yelling my name to get a drink faster is appropriate, you're probably not actually my friend. You're at best an acquaintance, and more than likely a random person who just asked the person next to you what my name is. You're also a "yeller". The difference between you and an actual friend of mine is that anybody who is actually friends with me knows not to yell to get my attention. And they probably tip better than you as well. And you wonder why they always seem to get served before you.
Situation: You do not know my name and would like a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. You may not realize it, but in the 2 seconds it took me to glance up, I did see you and I now know you want a drink. I will get to you.
Situation: You want to know my name(for whatever reason)
Appropriate action: When I get around to serving you, you may politely ask my name along with providing your drink order. I will likely make an on-the-spot judgement of you to determine whether or not you're a "yeller". If you seem on the level, I will tell you my name. If not, you'll get a fake name. Something that I can easily ignore. No offense, of course, but I'll still know you want a drink, and it won't make any difference to you.
Situation: You know my name.
Appropriate action: Use my name in situations like "Thanks for the drink, Danny!", or "Nice to meet you, Danny!" or "Congratulations on whatever thing you recently accomplished, Danny!" etc....
Keep in mind that I did not include the phrase "Danny, I would like a drink." Which leads us to...
Situation: You know my name and you want a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. As before, it won't take me long to see you waiting. Do not yell my name. Since I am already aware you want a drink, this serves only to demonstrate to me that you think you shouldn't have to wait your turn. This also makes me less inclined to want to serve you and may lead to a longer than normal wait for your drink.
Situation: Somebody asks you "What is the bartender's name?"
Appropriate action: Regardless of whether you know my name or not, you should simply say "I don't know." The reason for this is because the question "What is the bartender's name?" is almost without fail followed by "HEY DANNY! CAN I GET A BLAH BLAH BLAH AND COKE?" These people are referred to as "yellers". They are lumped in with the glass-tappers, the money/hand wavers, the bar pounders, and the whistlers. Of this group of very special people, the yellers are perhaps the most annoying, and usually get to wait the longest for service because of their brilliant contribution to my bar atmosphere.
Situation: You are my friend, you know my name, and you want a drink.
Appropriate action: Wait patiently. If you think you're my friend and are under the impression that yelling my name to get a drink faster is appropriate, you're probably not actually my friend. You're at best an acquaintance, and more than likely a random person who just asked the person next to you what my name is. You're also a "yeller". The difference between you and an actual friend of mine is that anybody who is actually friends with me knows not to yell to get my attention. And they probably tip better than you as well. And you wonder why they always seem to get served before you.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
For Leslie...
Ok, cease the activities you're currently engaged in, because I am about to spoil what you are used to hearing and seeing from those of my type. I don't look normal, but I still draw salary and I pray that audiences at large are prepared for me. Come closer, I have come to replace the former idiot in your metropolitan area, and I am musically accompanied by Digital Underground. You should consider all of your Hennessy effectively forfeit, and now I will proceed with an introduction. My name is Humpty. Make sure you enunciate it correctly with the proper "umpty" sound. My message to females is that I like to engage in intercourse with you. To other Top 10 hip-hop artists, I would suggest you step aside. Similar to Humpty Dumpty of nursery rhymes, I expect that you will not literally, but figuratively fall, or become embarrassed when you hear my songs on the radio. I like to rhyme words, I like good beats, I'm uniquely sassy, and I don't like runny oatmeal. I'm getting tired of rap that references gang activity, so I occasionally act silly. I'll consume whatever snack items you have lying around including, but not limited to licorice and crackers. Excuse me, portly woman...come here I want to see how you react if I gently stroke you with a feather. Yes, I did just use the word portly...if you'll notice, I am thin, but a disparity in body types has never been a barrier to my willingness to engage in coitus with a person. I'm a bizarre individual, I prefer women who have "the boom", indeed one time I had sex in the restroom at a Burger King. I'm mentally unstable, give me a chance to impress you. Some claim that I am unattractive, but I remain unaffected. I still copulate with many women, and there is even a dance that bears my name.
And that's just one damn verse....
And that's just one damn verse....
Monday, May 2, 2011
How to change your life
Slowly...one step at a time.
I have written a lot about setting goals, working towards them, and achieving them, but all those goals were athletically oriented. You can read about all that crap over HERE at my racing blog, starting with my inaugural post and mission statement.
But what about all the REST of the stuff I'm trying to accomplish in life? Not everything requires sweat and hours of grueling exercise. Well, I set a goal to become a nurse and I'm less than 100 days from fulfilling that goal. Some titles I can currently apply to myself include, but are not limited to the following: Ironman, marathoner, ultramarathoner, soon-to-be Registered Nurse and Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Ok...what about smaller stuff?
How about this one.....flosser?
Uh.....shit. I admit that I have never successfully been able to pick up the habit of regular flossing...not for more than a month at least. I try to be living proof of the benefits of taking care of one's body, but I can't even take care of my teeth! Granted, I've been incredibly lucky. I've had only one cavity, despite the fact that I've probably flossed less than 50 times in my entire life. I've also had multiple 3-4 year stretches between seeing dentists. I'm not counting on that luck to continue indefinitely though. Just last week I finally understood why people hate dentists. I had my 6 month cleaning and when the lady went to start looking for stuff to scrape, she found some....a LOT of it. AND IT HURT!
So once again I've decided that it's high time I became a flosser.
"It's as hard to quit smoking as it is to start flossing." - Mitch Hedburg
It seems extreme, but there may be some truth to it. Putting aside physiological dependence, quitting a habit is the same as picking up a habit...they are both lifestyle changes that require the same commitments from an individual. A person must first solidify in their mind that they are ready to make a change. My past failures at the flossing habit have been defeated early by a lackadaisical attitude of "Gee, I should floss more." Next, a person must form a realistic plan of action. I never once came close to this step. Next, you have to actually follow through with this plan and hold yourself accountable. I read somewhere about a study that determined the average person needed to repeat an activity 60+ days in a row before it would become a daily habit. Once a habit is formed, then you have succeeded.
I have decided that flossing every day is unrealistic for me. The dental hygienist mentioned to me that plaque starts to harden after 48 hours, so I have decided that if I can floss every other day, I will be happy...and definitely better off than flossing NO days. I have resolved to make Monday, Wednesday, and Friday my flossing days. I am proud to report that Week 1 of Project: Danny Becomes a Flosser plan has been a resounding success. I have committed myself to achieving this goal, so now before I go to bed there is no debating about whether or not I can skip it or put it off until tomorrow. If it's MWF, I'm f*cking flossing. End of story.
Literally...that's the end of the story. Wish me luck!
I have written a lot about setting goals, working towards them, and achieving them, but all those goals were athletically oriented. You can read about all that crap over HERE at my racing blog, starting with my inaugural post and mission statement.
But what about all the REST of the stuff I'm trying to accomplish in life? Not everything requires sweat and hours of grueling exercise. Well, I set a goal to become a nurse and I'm less than 100 days from fulfilling that goal. Some titles I can currently apply to myself include, but are not limited to the following: Ironman, marathoner, ultramarathoner, soon-to-be Registered Nurse and Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Ok...what about smaller stuff?
How about this one.....flosser?
Uh.....shit. I admit that I have never successfully been able to pick up the habit of regular flossing...not for more than a month at least. I try to be living proof of the benefits of taking care of one's body, but I can't even take care of my teeth! Granted, I've been incredibly lucky. I've had only one cavity, despite the fact that I've probably flossed less than 50 times in my entire life. I've also had multiple 3-4 year stretches between seeing dentists. I'm not counting on that luck to continue indefinitely though. Just last week I finally understood why people hate dentists. I had my 6 month cleaning and when the lady went to start looking for stuff to scrape, she found some....a LOT of it. AND IT HURT!
So once again I've decided that it's high time I became a flosser.
"It's as hard to quit smoking as it is to start flossing." - Mitch Hedburg
It seems extreme, but there may be some truth to it. Putting aside physiological dependence, quitting a habit is the same as picking up a habit...they are both lifestyle changes that require the same commitments from an individual. A person must first solidify in their mind that they are ready to make a change. My past failures at the flossing habit have been defeated early by a lackadaisical attitude of "Gee, I should floss more." Next, a person must form a realistic plan of action. I never once came close to this step. Next, you have to actually follow through with this plan and hold yourself accountable. I read somewhere about a study that determined the average person needed to repeat an activity 60+ days in a row before it would become a daily habit. Once a habit is formed, then you have succeeded.
I have decided that flossing every day is unrealistic for me. The dental hygienist mentioned to me that plaque starts to harden after 48 hours, so I have decided that if I can floss every other day, I will be happy...and definitely better off than flossing NO days. I have resolved to make Monday, Wednesday, and Friday my flossing days. I am proud to report that Week 1 of Project: Danny Becomes a Flosser plan has been a resounding success. I have committed myself to achieving this goal, so now before I go to bed there is no debating about whether or not I can skip it or put it off until tomorrow. If it's MWF, I'm f*cking flossing. End of story.
Literally...that's the end of the story. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Cruel Cycle of Grocery-Having...
Stage 1: Have groceries
You have just gotten home from the grocery store and you put everything away. You feel so proud that you have done the responsible thing instead of putting it off and ordering a pizza out of laziness. You are also probably tired from this whole "modern day hunter/gatherer" ordeal, so you're not quite ready to choose a meal to cook and prepare it. In fact, there are so many god-damned options, you are having trouble even deciding what you want to eat. So you put it off. Cooking takes so much time...GOSH!
You eat a banana before bed.
Stage 2: Grocery supply begins to dwindle.
All of the really good meals have been cooked and eaten. The healthy stuff is still ok to eat, but it's now or never. The problem is that you aren't necessarily craving any of the things you still have left...DEFINITELY not the healthy stuff. And going to the grocery store is absolutely NOT an option, because there's still food in the house.
You eat the last box of Mac and Cheese.
Stage 3: Groceries are gone
There are no more complete meals left. The once-fresh veggies are shriveled and you are too ashamed to throw them away just yet. You're damn sure not going to eat them though. All you have left is half a serving of plain pasta(no sauce), a can of tuna(no bread), some tortillas(no cheese, chicken, salsa, or anything that would be put on a tortilla), and an egg of dubious age. You are completely disheartened and disenfranchised with groceries, so you're not going to the store...besides...it's 9 pm and you haven't eaten dinner yet.
You eat the plain tortillas....and furthermore for the next week or two, you order pizza, fast food, or let your 'opportunivore' instincts from your college days kick in. You will eat anything. After enough time, you somehow muster the strength and courage to visit the grocery store again.
Repeat.
You have just gotten home from the grocery store and you put everything away. You feel so proud that you have done the responsible thing instead of putting it off and ordering a pizza out of laziness. You are also probably tired from this whole "modern day hunter/gatherer" ordeal, so you're not quite ready to choose a meal to cook and prepare it. In fact, there are so many god-damned options, you are having trouble even deciding what you want to eat. So you put it off. Cooking takes so much time...GOSH!
You eat a banana before bed.
Stage 2: Grocery supply begins to dwindle.
All of the really good meals have been cooked and eaten. The healthy stuff is still ok to eat, but it's now or never. The problem is that you aren't necessarily craving any of the things you still have left...DEFINITELY not the healthy stuff. And going to the grocery store is absolutely NOT an option, because there's still food in the house.
You eat the last box of Mac and Cheese.
Stage 3: Groceries are gone
There are no more complete meals left. The once-fresh veggies are shriveled and you are too ashamed to throw them away just yet. You're damn sure not going to eat them though. All you have left is half a serving of plain pasta(no sauce), a can of tuna(no bread), some tortillas(no cheese, chicken, salsa, or anything that would be put on a tortilla), and an egg of dubious age. You are completely disheartened and disenfranchised with groceries, so you're not going to the store...besides...it's 9 pm and you haven't eaten dinner yet.
You eat the plain tortillas....and furthermore for the next week or two, you order pizza, fast food, or let your 'opportunivore' instincts from your college days kick in. You will eat anything. After enough time, you somehow muster the strength and courage to visit the grocery store again.
Repeat.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Quick thought....a drive-home metaphor...
This will likely offend somebody, so I guess there's that.
On my drive home I was thinking about old age and dying and what it would be like to look back on your life and think to yourself, "Man, I really did everything I wanted to do and I'm ready to say goodbye and turn out the lights." It was at that point that I wondered if I'd still have that lingering fear of the unknown, of death...and of the so-called "afterlife" that I don't believe in.
Will I fold and choose a "god" to swear allegiance to out of weakness? Out of fear of retribution for not living my life for that particular god's glory? I feel like if I do things the way I plan on doing them, I would honestly be able to look any god in the face at judgement and say "I lived a good life, and I didn't even have to be frightened by the prospect of burning in hell to do it. I just did it because I knew it was the right way to live. I learned to love, to empathize, to explore the world you allegedly created, to help my fellow man, and to do all things as justly and conscientiously as possible."
If that god still decides to condemn me because I did not do all of those things with them in mind, then so be it. But I doubt any supposedly omnipotent god could really punish somebody who was only living the way they were created to live. Unfortunately, not a single religion has a god like this.
Which leads me to my thought of the night. A metaphor for why I think religion is absolutely stupid. Not spirituality, mind you. Religion.
Religion is stupid because it would have us believe that a man could cure cancer, but it wouldn't matter if he was wearing the wrong color lab coat when he did it.
Good night.
On my drive home I was thinking about old age and dying and what it would be like to look back on your life and think to yourself, "Man, I really did everything I wanted to do and I'm ready to say goodbye and turn out the lights." It was at that point that I wondered if I'd still have that lingering fear of the unknown, of death...and of the so-called "afterlife" that I don't believe in.
Will I fold and choose a "god" to swear allegiance to out of weakness? Out of fear of retribution for not living my life for that particular god's glory? I feel like if I do things the way I plan on doing them, I would honestly be able to look any god in the face at judgement and say "I lived a good life, and I didn't even have to be frightened by the prospect of burning in hell to do it. I just did it because I knew it was the right way to live. I learned to love, to empathize, to explore the world you allegedly created, to help my fellow man, and to do all things as justly and conscientiously as possible."
If that god still decides to condemn me because I did not do all of those things with them in mind, then so be it. But I doubt any supposedly omnipotent god could really punish somebody who was only living the way they were created to live. Unfortunately, not a single religion has a god like this.
Which leads me to my thought of the night. A metaphor for why I think religion is absolutely stupid. Not spirituality, mind you. Religion.
Religion is stupid because it would have us believe that a man could cure cancer, but it wouldn't matter if he was wearing the wrong color lab coat when he did it.
Good night.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Prohibitive advice from popular music...
Don't:
1. Stop thinking about tomorrow
2. Stop believing
3. Stop before you get enough
4. Do me like that
5. Go changin'
6. Go chasin' waterfalls
7. Fear the reaper
8. Forget about me
9. Worry
10. Eat that yellow snow
11. Think twice
12. Turn around
13. Speak
14. Change that number
15. Let the sun go down on me
16. Take my Kodachrome away
17. Try to fade this
18. Stop the beat
19. Leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
20. Let me down
1. Stop thinking about tomorrow
2. Stop believing
3. Stop before you get enough
4. Do me like that
5. Go changin'
6. Go chasin' waterfalls
7. Fear the reaper
8. Forget about me
9. Worry
10. Eat that yellow snow
11. Think twice
12. Turn around
13. Speak
14. Change that number
15. Let the sun go down on me
16. Take my Kodachrome away
17. Try to fade this
18. Stop the beat
19. Leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
20. Let me down
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