WyCo WhyNot?

Here I sit in the dead of winter and square in the middle of the nursing school backhand bitch-slap known as our OB/Peds rotation. Entering this program I really had to temper my athletic aspirations(and respirations) due to the expected shit-load of classwork I expected that I'd be busy with. I was not incorrect in my assessment that I'd be overwhelmed by school, but I was altogether off-the-mark when I assumed I'd have no time to run. November was by far the most stressful month of the entire year for me, yet I still managed to log my highest running mileage in that same month(85 miles). Coincidence? Not remotely.

I've learned these last few months, that running isn't just something I like to do to blow off steam, or do because it makes me feel good. Put quite simply, I cannot live without it. In November, when I was on the brink of depression and going flat-out batty, running was my day-to-day saving grace. Did my life feel like it was spinning out of control? Hell yes. But I was able to rock-out 30+ miles in a single weekend and for some reason, it gave me a boost in whatever thing I was severely lacking that was causing all of my problems. Confidence? Motivation? Focus? A fucking break from reality? All of the above? I'll never know for sure, but it saved my ass and saw me through to the end of the semester.

December and January mileage stayed pretty high as well. And for good reason, as I am registered for my 2nd ultramarathon this weekend. Another 50k at WyCo. Every trail runner I know says that running at WyCo is harder than running anywhere else that isn't actually in the mountains. So why do I do my long races there? Because I'm an idiot.

No, I'm being serious. Let me explain...

My first 50k was the Psycho Psummer 50k last July at WyCo. I was completely unprepared in just about every way. I had never run trails before, much less the hardest trails that can be found in these parts. Check! I had not specifically trained for this distance or this race. Check! The race was 2 weeks after the biggest race of my life, Ironman Coeur d'Alene, and I was unaware that the average human needed more than 13 days to recover from 140.6 miles. Check!

Read the full report if you like: http://lowandtall.blogspot.com/2010/08/psycho-psummer-50k-exercise-in-humility.html

It was completely idiotic, but I finished. When I registered for this race, I optimistically clicked on the 50k option, with the full knowledge that I could always drop down to the 20 mile option if I wasn't "feelin' it" on raceday. Seems like a decent plan, right?

Except I know it won't go down that way. The way I see it, worst case scenario, I am exactly as unprepared for this race as I was last July. Best case scenario, I've got to be a little bit better off this time. At this point, I've got 250+ miles of trail experience under my belt(technically, under my Mizuno trail shoes). I can knock out 10-15 miles on any given day and not be completely debilitated physically. I am not in recovery mode from any previous athletic endeavor. The only thing that is similar to my previous 50k is that I have not trained for this distance, nor have I trained for this race. Sure, I've THOUGHT about this race a lot during my weekly runs, but my mileage is nowhere near what it should be for a race that hurts as much as a full marathon at the HALFWAY point.

With all this in mind, I have pretty much set my mind to finishing the full distance. Why? Because, as I mentioned earlier, I am an idiot.

I can already see what's going to happen. The 50k course consists of three 10 mile loops, and the bailout point would be after the 2nd lap. I'll roll into the main aid station in some amount of pain, likely a large amount. I'll nom on some snacks, and I'll ignore the question "Should I stop?" I know from previous experience that if I start the last lap, I'll finish it, even if it involves crawling. In snow.

Perhaps I'm being foolish, but perhaps this is what it's all about. Setting goals, even challenging ones, and stepping up to the plate despite any doubts you might have. A brief conversation with Sophie earlier tonight convinced me that instead of running the Free State trail marathon in April, perhaps I'd attempt my first 40 miler instead. Come on...it's only another 9 miles...what's the difference?

Depending on how this Saturday goes, I may write a race report, but I might not. It won't be my first ANYTHING, and you can never tell which races will be memorable and meaningful, and which races end up just being races. I'm hoping for memorable and meaningful!

"What one man can do, another can do."

Thoughts on our national anthem...

So yeah, Christina Aguilera muffed the words to The Star Spangled Banner. While we've been busy lampooning her, remembering other famously butchered anthem performances(Roseanne Barr?) and remembering the precious few that were truly inspired and beautiful performances, I've been thinking a lot about the song itself. Vocally it is incredibly demanding, as its melody puts the ranges of singers to the test. I think many singers take this as a challenge to their diva egos(Divagos?) and turn it into a pissing contest, when it really should just be sung thoughtfully and respectfully...and if we're lucky, in tune.

That got me thinking about the words to the song itself, which as an instrumentalist, I hardly EVER do. It occurred to me that I had spent the majority of my life just singing along, but never really thinking about the story the song was telling. Just like the Pledge of Allegiance which, when recited in our minds, is always in the voices of 2nd graders in the most monotonous manner possible. Why is that? Of course, 2nd graders don't really grasp the meaning of the concepts discussed in the Pledge, but they memorize it and recite it verbatim every morning for the majority of grade school.

I believe that the national anthem is no different, which leads me to suspect that a large percentage of Americans have probably never even contemplated the words that they are singing, but that they will no doubt chastise any singer for forgetting. Several years ago, I actually took a quiet moment to contemplate these lyrics for myself. Do you want to know what I realized? The words to our proud national anthem are confusing as hell! Grammatically vague and seemingly written in Ye Olde Englishe, it's no wonder nobody understands what the hell they're singing about.

Let's examine the first few lines..."O say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed, at the twilight's last gleaming..."

First of all, I'm almost certain this is a question. Almost. Second of all, can somebody please come to the front of the class and circle the SUBJECT of this sentence is? No...you can't. And that's because the subject of this sentence isn't in this sentence. In fact, we are vaguely referring to our country's flag, but without actually coming right out and mentioning it. That tends to confuse people, when their sentences don't have subjects. I'll point out that the next line isn't any better. In effect, our national anthem is a series of backwardly written run-on sentences, very few of them actually mentioning the flag that the song is about. When you examine the lyrics, you are STUNNED to find out that the very last line isn't even a declaration about how brave and free we are and where our flag waves. It is another question. "O say does that star spangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave?"

..................................

I don't know...does it? In a REAL Amurrca, no blue-blooded, God-fearing flag-waver would sit idly by while some sissy named Francis wrote us a national anthem that was so unsure about how awesome we as a nation truly are. Undoubtedly, a congressional mandate would, at the very least, intervene and force the inclusion of a "Fuck Yeah!" to end the song, casting away all doubt as to the size of America's balls.

So our national anthem, while it is truly a beautiful piece of poetry set to a fantastic melody, simply isn't approachable by the lay-person today. The grammatical prowess of our great nation just isn't up to the task of grasping the literary backflips this song throws at us, especially when all we grew up with was "Oops, I did it again". It's simple, and nobody is unclear as to what Britney was trying to tell us. She played with our hearts....again....and she is sarcastically apologetic about it because she thinks we're naive. Even 2nd graders can grasp that.

So what's the answer? Well, we're certainly not getting a new anthem, and I wouldn't agree to that anyways. Tradition is an important part of who we are, and I can't imagine the redneck revolt we'd have on our hands if anybody even suggested the possibility that we were too dumb for our own national anthem and that we needed a new one. I've decided instead to rewrite the words to The Star Spangled Banner. Not to be sung, of course,but just as a kind of a cheat sheet for anybody unsure about what it means. We could distribute them at sporting events and Nascar races(yeah, there's a difference). Here goes nothing...

Hey, can you see the flag that we very proudly salute, both against the sunrise and the sunset?
Which flag's broad stripes and bright stars were gallantly streaming over the ramparts we were watching during that perilous fight?
The light from all the explosions of bombs and various artillery shells illuminated our flag during the night, proving that it was still there(and therefore, that we had not been defeated).
Hey, does that flag still wave over the land of the free and the home of the Chiefs? *

....um.....I mean....the brave. I mean...does it?

......................................

I give up.


*Technically, if we're referring to Native-Americans, this IS the home of the Chiefs, but unfortunately they've been killed, mistreated, herded into reservations, and downgraded to 2nd class citizens. But we gave them casinos, so it's all cool right?

Common observations/questions concerning time...

1. It is on my side, yes it is.
2. We're gonna go back in it.
3. It flies.
4. I don't have it.
5. It is important to be on it.
6. It is running out.
7. It is money.
8. What will happen to us in it?
9. It starts now, baby. It starts now.
10. Let's kill some of it.
11. It keeps marching on, and it is still marching on.
12. It slips away.
13. That drummer can't keep it.
14. I have a problem managing it.
15. I have no concept of it.
16. Rate times it equals distance.
17. If I could save it in a bottle...
18. He's got too much of it on his hands.
19. It's just a matter of it.
20. The world will always welcome lovers, as it goes by.

Thanks for reading. You're all getting old.

To Whom It May Concern...

(Copy/Paste from Facebook on 1/8/11 in response to Tuscon shootings)

A series of brief letters that seem relevant today. Beginning with my status update from earlier today...

Dear America,

Regardless of outcome, can we please not make this about gun control? This is about the huge chasm that has formed between people in our country due to their political beliefs and the hatred that is resulting from it. Can we please use this as an opportunity to come together and talk sensibly again, not as an opportunity to point fingers and incite further hatred?

Dear Republicans/Tea Party/others who often get grouped in with them,

I don't hate you. I disagree with you politically. I voted for President Obama and tend to agree with most of his policies. I do not believe that these policies will destroy our country, but I respect your concern and belief that they are not in our country's best interest. I firmly believe that if there was less misinformation from politicians and pundits on BOTH sides, we'd find that our differences are a lot less drastic and a lot simpler than the major news networks like to portray.

Dear gun owners/NRA,

Today a gun was involved in a prominent act of violence. Many will immediately call for new gun control measures, but I do not agree with these knee jerk reactions. Laws do not heal wounds, but some find that they cannot cope with a tragedy unless "something is done about this". People work that way. I DO NOT want your guns taken away. I don't think Obama wants that either. Even with strict gun control laws, people who want to kill will still find ways to get guns. As proof of my point, look at our country's track record of preventing illegal immigrants and drugs from getting into the country. Guns would be no different. Keep your guns.

Dear Sarah Palin,

I do not believe, at this time, that you are responsible for the violence today. I do question the language you and others affiliated with you use. It is not directly encouraging violence, but it could be easily interpreted as such. I believe it is careless to use language like this, especially given the current political climate and the high tensions that are present among Americans. I don't want you to apologize, because I don't think it's your fault. However, I do think it would be an incredible gesture for you to change some of your signage and perhaps make a statement to your supporters that this sort of thing is absolutely reprehensible and NOT the type of action you wish of them. Encouraging more bipartisan cooperation among the average American would gain you much respect from myself and others.

Dear Liberals/left-wing/etc,

I tend to agree with you politically, but not always. You may feel inclined to start pointing fingers at Republicans, Tea Party supporters, and people like Sarah Palin. I do not blame you for having this inclination, however it is becoming apparent that the shooter had no affiliation with any of these groups or people. The majority of the people on the other side of the political coin are just like us. They are honest, hardworking Americans who just want what is best for the country. Some of them are educated, some are not. Just like us. We all come from the same place, but we're all coming from different places, if that makes any sense.

Dear Media,

I've had a bone to pick with you for quite awhile. I am disappointed that you chose money over journalistic integrity, and now the American public has no reason to trust you anymore. Gone are the days when we could watch the news and simply trust that what they were telling us was the best and most accurate information available. It is sad that I can watch MSNBC and be told one thing, and then switch over to Fox News and hear something completely contrary. It is sad that the number of trusted news sources is rapidly dwindling. You are partly responsible for the fact that nobody really knows where to find real facts anymore. You lost our trust and I don't believe you will ever get it back.

Dear conspiracy theorists,

Don't. Just don't. Sure...it's possible that this allegedly unaffiliated shooter may have been secretly hired and directed by a political organization to murder an opponent. I doubt that's the case though. If this were the case, I would trust our law enforcement to uncover such a plot and there would be proof rather than indiscriminate speculation.

Dear everybody,

Let's be sensible. Let's care for one another. Tragedies happen, regardless of what policies are in place. People shoot each other every day, but we only heard about this one because somebody famous/important was involved. If you're liberal, respect a conservative. If you're conservative, respect a liberal. We're not enemies.

Thank you!

Sincerely,

Danny Loental

Something that's actually important...

A few weeks ago, I did something that I've been meaning to do pretty much since the time I became aware of such an opportunity. The time that has lapsed between that time and when I finally decided to take action and do this thing is embarrassingly long. I'm talking well over a decade. What took me so long to do this simple thing that took me MAYBE 15 minutes tops.

I like that I'm building suspense/mystery as to what the hell I'm talking about, but unfortunately to continue without being specific would be difficult to write and would make no sense whatsoever to anyone attempting to read.

I registered to be an organ donor. Sure, I already had the little heart symbol on my driver's license, but all that does is remind any potential emergency personnel to check to see if you're registered to donate organs. You actually have to register with an organ donation service (ex. Missouri Organ Donor Registry) for it to actually be put into practice.

So, why did it take me so long? I have long prided myself as a man of action over words. But why did I wait over 10 years to do this after I decided that I'd like to give my organs to somebody who needed them in the event I became too dead to fully appreciate their use?

I feel like I've been pretty comfortable conceiving of and discussing my own death that it really shouldn't have been a barrier to me. But it was. I want to convince myself that it was just something that I never got around to, kept slipping my mind, or some other hollow excuse, but in my mind there really was no excuse for waiting for so long.

It took an incredibly thoughtful and poignant presentation on End of Life issues by some of my nursing school classmates to really give me the slap-in-the-face that I needed. A good firm kick in the pants that, as cliche as it sounds, it really is a matter of life and death. Maybe not to me, but to somebody else. A woman in my program lost her teenage daughter to a car crash 2 years ago. This girl had done what I hadn't...what I couldn't. She was already registered to give her organs, and when that day unexpectedly came, she was already set up to give the enormous gift of life to a handful of people she had never met. Her mother spoke to us, heartbroken yet proud as she could be, and it was a splash of cold water in my face.

How careless have I been for the past decade or so? 5-6 years of rock climbing, a full decade of cycling, various other haphazardly ventured activities, plus the ever-present "hit by a bus crossing the street" risk. I can think of specific instances where a slip of the foot, or a narrowly avoided bicycle crash could have all too easily resulted in PVS for yours truly. For non-medical folks...PVS=Permanent Vegetative State. Brain dead. Nobody home. A functioning body with a face, but not a person. I know that should I ever end up as such, I would want life support pulled without a doubt. And until now, it wouldn't have resulted in anything good whatsoever. Those days are over, and I'm extremely happy that I lived long enough to make this important decision for myself, but even more importantly: for the next name on that waiting list who might just get another chance at life.

A girl I went to high school with is alive because somebody else made this decision and helped her beat cancer with a new liver. That was over a year ago. Why didn't I do it then? It would have been so easy. Do I really think I'm invincible?

Apparently so. Despite my attitude towards death, lack of religious beliefs, and everything I wished I were, I still didn't do it. The fact is, it's damn hard to face your own death, even the possibility of it. To admit that I, just like everyone else, could just up and die some day...it takes some serious stones. The more I get into nursing, the more I realize how fragile human life is. Though I never get sick, I don't bruise, and have a pretty decent capacity for self-inflicted suffering in the form of exercise...I honestly don't know when my number will come up. I recently heard of a 30 year old man, avid runner, otherwise extremely healthy, who was diagnosed with left ventricular hypertrophy right after it killed him. You can never know.

The point I'm coming to is this: Will you give up your organs once you can no longer use them? Are you too uncomfortable to even contemplate such a decision? Will you at least consider the idea? Not for me, but for those out there who are fighting for their lives and hoping for a fighting chance in hell? https://www.missouriorgandonor.com/odpublicsite/Default.aspx

In addition to registering to donate my organs, I also have begun the process to add myself to the national bone marrow registry. This one is even easier. Sign up, take a swab of your cheek and mail it in, and then wait. If you're lucky enough to have the opportunity to be somebody's match, there is a somewhat painful procedure involved in donating bone marrow, but to me I would gladly endure this to save a life. http://www.marrow.org/
Do it!

Next on my list of death-related things I've been meaning to do: Fill out an Advanced Directive.

Thanks for reading!

New Year's Mud Slingin'

It's that time of year again.

The time of year when everybody decides this is their only chance to make an effort to improve themselves.

The time of year when the average person resolves to do something better and gives up after about two weeks. Guess they'll have to wait another 350 days before they can try something like THAT again.

The time of year when I remind my friends and family that it really doesn't work that way, blah blah blah, we can do this all year long, yada yada yada, self improvement, year-round, etc quid pro quo ad finitum ad nauseum affinitas smorgasbord electric purple monkey gorilla.

Or something to that effect. Yes, I am cynical regarding new year's resolutions. Are they a bad idea? Absolutely not. Are they WAY too limiting? YES!!!

Can we just add MORE of these days to our calendar year? Can we get rid of Valentine's Day, Flag Day, and Columbus Day and replace them with "Hey People, Make Some More Resolutions" Day? Heck, I'll even give up my own birthday. From now on, I relinquish all celebratory rights on October 6th so that everyone can take a moment, collect their thoughts, contemplate the person they wished they were, and once again resolve to be that person?

This is also the time of year when Yours Truly reflects on the previous calendar year of his life and considers what he has accomplished, what goals he has aspired to and met/not met. He does this in the most honest and self-reflective way possible and is often especially insistent on pointing out his own shortcomings. Some of you find that refreshing, apparently.

So...2010, what the hell were you all about?

For one, I gained some new titles with which I can now use to refer to myself. Among them are: Ironman, Ultramarathoner, trail runner, nursing school student, 30-something, 4D club member(alive in 4 different decades...80's, 90's, 00's, and 10's) and Bad Uncle. Yes, it has been over a year since I've seen my nephew and nieces.

Hmmm, as far as athletic stats for you numbers people: 1781 total miles covered. Ran 585 miles(200+ on trails), biked 1186 miles, swam 11 miles. Some of you might have noticed that I did an Ironman this year. You may ask how I got away with swimming only 11 miles in the same year I did an Ironman. I have no answer for you. Sorry. For anyone interested, this year I switched to www.dailymile.com to keep track of all this stuff. I recommend it!

Races I completed: a few 5ks, 2 half marathons, a half Ironman, an Olympic tri, a full Ironman, a 50k trail race(my first ultra), a handfull of shorter trail races, and a 30k trail race. I added 8 new finisher medals to my wall. I also participated in the MS Ride(180 miles) after raising over $2000, putting me just barely into the top 50 fundraisers for the year. I'm hoping to do it again next year. http://main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/dloental2011

More importantly for me are the other people in my life who have followed my lead and taken up sport. My brother ran his first half marathon, his first triathlon, and has recently begun trail running as well. He has plans to complete a half ironman and a full marathon next year. This year my father ran his first 10k and has plans to run his first half marathon next year. Many of my friends, some of which attribute at least part of their inspiration to me, have completed first half and full marathons as well as various distances of triathlon. Many have sought my advice for training and racing as well.

Academically, I continued to achieve success that still manages to boggle the minds of my friends and family, who ponder "Where is Danny and who is this guy that looks like him, yet gets good grades?" I finished up my nursing school prerequisites during spring and summer at Rockhurst University, achieving all A's and one B. The first trimester at Research College of Nursing hit a few weeks later like a ton of bricks. The phrase "drinking from the firehose" was constantly on my mind. The adjustment to the level of work required was a rude awakening, but after our first round of classes I felt I had a grasp on things. Then our workload roughly doubled as we added new classes and clinical rotations to the mix. There was a point where I was dangling over academic oblivion and a few test questions one way or the other would decide between success and failure.

To my knowledge, 6 out of roughly 80 of my classmates were unable to make the cut and have been sent packing. I only mention this because many of us know, in the back of our minds, "That could have been me if I had only missed a few more questions." Gradewise, I ended up with A's in Foundations, Assessment, and Pharmacology(YES!), and B's in Mental Health, Professional Concepts, and Adult Health. Both of my clinical rotations received "Satisfactory" status. So I've got that going for me, which is nice. Interesting factoid: My most stressful month of school was November. My highest monthly running total was 85 miles...in November. Go figure.

Aside from my recent trip to San Francisco to visit my brother, the only traveling I did was for races. I spent a weekend in Galveston for the 1/2 Ironman, and a week in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho for the Ironman.

A few of my good friends got married this year, including a girl I once thought I would marry. I was an usher in one wedding, briefly featured entertainment at another(humpty hump) and attending another one provided me closure to a very painful chapter in my own personal life.

Speaking of personal life, I began 2010 in a very difficult spot. It took me several more months to come to some very important realizations and admit to some hard truths. She was happier with him, and I truly was happy for her. Riding the wave of ups and downs training for some very big races defined the majority of my spring and summer, with the obvious climax being crossing the finish line in Coeur d'Alene. An astounding drop in morale followed immediately, but eventually I reached an equilibrium in time to begin school. There were more ups and downs that followed the course of my academic progress, but in November I faced a harsh bout of depression. My own mental health was brought under scrutiny as I debated seeing a therapist and possibly going on meds if things didn't improve. Ultimately, I found that I have some amazing friends in my life who were able to help me dig myself out of that hole. Some of those friends are people who stayed up past their bedtimes to listen to me talk myself stupid. Some of them were my trail running buddies with whom no words whatsoever were exchanged, but they allowed me an outlet from my daily grind. To everyone who helped me...family, friends, classmates, running buddies...I thank you for everything you've done to see me through the tough times, and for your support and congratulations during the amazing times!

So...heading into 2011, what now? I make no resolutions on this particular day, but if I think of any at a later date, I'll just make them then. I will say that I have a modest list of things I'd like to accomplish this year. 50k in February, half marathon with Dad in April, trail marathon later in April, KC Tri in May, Kansas Half Iron in June. In the fall, if I don't get into the NYC Marathon lottery, I'd consider running a 50 miler as my big race for the year. If all goes according to plan, I'll graduate from nursing school in August, and hopefully have a month or so to decompress before I begin my new career. Beyond that, it's all up in the air.

I am excited for the upcoming year, not because it is labeled differently, but because the future always holds promise, whether it is January 1st or Febtober 27th. So many days of the year seem humdrum if you forget that fact. Always look to your own future and realize that You determine the course of events, rather than just being a bystander watching your life unfold.

So that got a little more philosophical than I originally intended. Unfortunately, I am not a fan of editing/rewriting, so you'll just have to deal with it.

I wish the best to all of you in the upcoming trip around the sun.

"2011: It will have characteristics of something that rhymes with eleven!"

DRL

A List of Horribly Cliche Things To Post On Facebook...

1. Gratuitous close-up of your new engagement ring. Honestly, it's more personable to physically rub it in the faces of your friends than to do it over the internet.
2. Ultrasound of your new human parasite as your profile picture. This goes hand-in-hand with the "progressively growing pregnant belly" album. You can just TELL people you're pregnant, and if they're interested in seeing more, there's always Google Image Search.
3. Inviting me to an event when I live in another city. I'm probably not going to come. I'll be the first to admit I've done this. That doesn't mean it's not cliche.
4. Thinking that changing your profile picture to to something clever in order to "raise awareness" is anything more than a cleverness contest which you chose to participate in. Way to go...you picked a more obscure cartoon from your childhood than most of your friends. Children are still getting beat the hell up. Thanks for your help.
5. Posting a status mourning the death of a celebrity you knew nothing about, just as long as you were the first to do so. Also hand-in-hand with mourning the death of a celebrity you knew nothing about, yet you feel you SHOULD have known something about(J.D. Salinger anyone?).
6. Passive aggressive political posts that you KNOW your progressive/conservative friends will see in attempt to start a political flamewar. Yes, and the debate sparked by this noble gesture will most certainly result in mature and productive dialogue from all parties.
7. Responding to a passive aggressive political post that your progressive/conservative friend posted. It's called a troll. It eventually goes away and dies if you ignore it(or god forbid, you un-friend this person you once had a class with).
8. Foursquare. I don't even know what to say. I really couldn't give a rat's ass that you're the mayor of your laundromat. I block this crap for a reason.
9. You went to a party. You posted every god-damn picture from said party. Why did you do that? Photography used to be an art form. You also suck at painting, but you don't do that incessantly.
10. Commenting on television shows as you watch them. I don't see what purpose this serves other than to proclaim, "I'm currently watching Real World: Duluth" Anybody who cares about this show is either already watching it, or planning to watch it...in which case, "Thanks for the spoiler, asshole."

That's all for now...